Tuesday, April 01, 2008

A mean joke

I have been a naughty boy and told a couple of fibs. What, with it being April 1st and all, I have led the whole of blogdom to believe that I have broken the laws of physics as we know them over a cappuccino (extra shot and sprinkles) and a brownie.

As if that was not bad enough, I've told them I'm moving to China to research this mythical masterpiece of photonic wizadry. I had toyed with announcing my engagement to one of the UK press as well, but thankfully avoided that lawsuit with a quick "delete". I'm quite flattered that even those that know me believed that I was capable of performing such an act of shear black magic but feel like a royal shite that I have suckered some of the brightest people I know.

Could you please advise me on how to dig myself out of this hell-hole?

Shenzhen Ken

Dear Ken,

There is a special circle of hell reserved for people who play jokes on others on April Fools' Day. Congratulations on joining the circle! You've joined the ranks of Google, Chicago Public Radio and The Sun. That's right, you read that correctly. The Sun.

Perhaps the only way to repent for your sins would be to carry through on your plans. You've done the UK and the States...why not move to China? Perhaps that journalist wouldn't mind a fancy date before the engagement announcement? It's time to live a little, Kenny.

But if you can't make it up to your friends by following through, at least treat them to cappuccinos and brownies. Extra sprinkles. It's the least you can do.

April Fools!