Sunday, May 06, 2007

Friend's future in jeopardy?

I have a really social, caring friend who has this guy she loves to be with. The main reason is that he was her first crush...but I think this guy is not right for her. He's an introvert and is sometimes demanding and sometimes sweet.

My friend has a chance to be in the United States, which she loves, and this guy tells her he doesn't like to work there. Her parents even convinced a family friend's son to ask her to marry him so they can live happily together. I do think that is the best thing.

When I told her I thought that was best, she ended up crying and saying things like "why do all of these things happen to me" and "why do I have to suffer all of the time." Did I do something wrong? How can I help her?

Wants what's best

Dear Wants,

The first thing I thought of when I read this letter was, damn, can't anyone let your friend make her own damn decisions?

Her first crush (and current love) may be demanding, which is a negative trait, but just because he isn't as outgoing as she is doesn't mean he isn't right for her. What may indicate that things should end is that she's about to make a big career move to the States, and he doesn't want to join in. She has to decide if he is worth it.

And now, in a seemingly bizarre fashion, her parents have gotten someone to propose to her, as though it were a magic pill. Her best friend's opinion of that disgusts her, and she's acting like a perpetual victim. Girl has GOT to make her own choice.

That means you can't do it for her. You've expressed your opinion, so let that remain and stop discussing it. Here's to hoping she can stand on her own two feet and not make decisions based on what everyone else wants.

Aunt Amy


Anonymous said...

i gues u could have helped that person who asked..better..

Aunt Amy said...

The problem is that it wasn't her problem to begin with. I would have written something different if her friend had written herself, but that wasn't the case.