Sunday, March 18, 2007

Staying or going?

I've got a girlfriend whom I've known for three months now. We're getting along fine and everything, no quarrels yet. In a year's time she will be going overseas to study because my school has a programme with a university overseas that both of us applied to.

I have to stay back for 2 years for government service before I go there. By that time she would be back here and working. The study abroad thing will last one year, but she broke up with her ex like 4 months later when he went overseas.

I really really love her and one year to me seems long which in time I feel she might someone else. Do you think she might? Should I break her heart now or should I carry on and hurt myself later on?

Potentially in pain

Dear Potentially,

I don't think you can really worry too much about this yet. You've only been dating for three months; it will be another year before she leaves. Who is to say that the relationship won't go sour before then?

But I'm really an optimist, so let's say you stay together and she goes overseas. I'm not going to lie and say it's easy. Being far away from your sweetie is hard, and even harder when she's thousands of miles away. If you're in a committed relationship at that point, you will have to make a decision to remain together and faithful despite the distance, agree to see other people while you're apart or break up completely and remain friends.

If I'm reading your question properly, this will be a little harder because you intend to go overseas for a year sometime after she returns and the issue will start all over again.

Ultimately, I think you need to wait and have this discussion later on. Don't compare this to the situation with her ex. Just because she dumped him when he went away doesn't mean that will happen here. Enjoy your lady while you're in the same country and everything will work its way out.

Aunt Amy

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