Thursday, March 01, 2007

No loving touch

I'm dating this really great guy. He's friendly, he makes me laugh, he treats me like I'm a lady, he's basically everything I've been looking for. The only problem is, he never touches me! He doesn't hold my hand or even give me a hug! I'm starting to think he doesn't even have romantic feelings towards me.

How can someone who is so right for me not want to have any physical contact with me? Do you think he's just one of those shy guys who wait for the girl to make the first move? How do I bring this up to him without hurting his feelings or worse, ruining the relationship we already have? All I know is, if it keeps going on like it has been, I'm going to start feeling badly about myself and start feeling ugly and not worth touching.

Feeling Not-So-Hot

Dear Hot,

If I didn't know better, I'd think you were 13 years old: "We're dating! He's awesome! He's too scared to touch me!"

But since you can spell, I'm going to assume that you're a bit older than that. And yet you're still in the middle of a situation which has confounded teenagers. If he's an adult male and you've been dating, why isn't he interested in making a move?

I don't by that he isn't touching you because he's too shy; even a shy person would try a subtle move eventually. Presuming you aren't needy or nuts, I'm going to guess that he isn't attracted to you.

But my guesses are worthless when you have him around. Sit down with him and talk about it. Tell him you've noticed he hasn't been interested in holding your hand, and you've been to shy to hold his. If he doesn't give you a valid reason for any of this (and mind you, there are few valid reasons), then you're better off calling it quits and finding an amazing guy who also wants you to be pantless after a few dates.

Aunt Amy


Anonymous said...

Just because a man doesn't like to touch doesn't mean there's anything wrong. I'm married to a wonderful man who just isn't very demonstrative. Even when we were engaged we rarely held hands, and we didn't kiss for the first time until after he proposed to me.

Anonymous said...

maybe your guy hasnt been brought up to display affection in the way you would like i was like this with an old boyfriend, i was brought up believing that there is a time and a place for everything i wouldnt ever kiss him in public and would never hold his hand yet i met my little boys dad and everything changed i would happily walk hand in hand an kiss him infront of anyone,,