Hearing attitude

How do you deal with constant family misunderstandings?

I'm having issues with my Dad. We tend to take each other's comments the wrong way, but I think he isn't hearing me at all. For example, today I told him I forgot to go to the pharmacy to pick up toilet paper. He offered me the roll in his bathroom, but I would need my own because I had a separate bathroom.

I said "But that's what I'm saying. I need to have some in my bathroom." Then he got angry at me and said I should have thought of that while I was at the store the other day. Later on, we talk about the conversation and he said he thought I copped an attitude and told him to buy me some toilet paper. He said he can't be wrong every time this happens.

I don't know what to do. I can't talk to my parents much. It's like having two angry roommates as opposed to parents.

Can Hear You

Dear Hear,

I read this letter over and over again and while there are clearly other problems at home, I think this one doesn't have to do with any of the others. If you are accurate in your description of what happened, and your Dad wouldn't normally flip out on you for reminding yourself that you need tissues, then I think your father has a hearing problem.

You might want to handle this one delicately. I'd sit down with him and tell him you've noticed the both of you have had a lot of misunderstandings, and you don't think you're copping an attitude with him most of the time. I'd see if he would be willing to go to an otologist and have his hearing checked. If you have to, pay for it.

If hearing is the problem here, and I think it is, maybe a few more problems would clear up in your parents' relationship, too.

Aunt Amy